Real Talk

I am angry.

I am outraged, frustrated, disgusted and terrified. Yesterday I looked at my daughter and for a very brief moment, I feared for her safety – and mine. These moments happen every other day, and in those moments of faithlessness, the worst horrors flicker through my mind. This happens at random times in my day, sometimes when I use a public restroom, when I’m walking to my car, when I drop my daughter off at school, when I pick her up from school, when I unlock my house, when I lock up, when I take an Uber alone, when I’m doing shopping, pretty much every single time that my fiance isn’t with me. If you came here hoping to read a flowery post, please leave. This isn’t one of those.

I am raising my daughter in this world where I have to read about the most atrocious and heinous crimes. In this world where women and children are being HURT, RAPED and MURDERED by “men” who are supposed to protect them. These very men live among us, you pass them on your way to work, you thank them as they hold the elevator door open for you, you see them with their girlfriends, wives, and own children sometimes. You come home to them, these uncles, fathers, boyfriends, husbands, and you would never know. 

In the news…

I’m honestly sick to my stomach at the amount of rapes and murders being reported lately. I actually found myself asking other people whether they thought that there had been an increase in these crimes or if they’re more visible now because of social media. I was shocked to find that sexual offences had been on a decline, yet I feel like we’re seeing way more of this disgusting act. 


I was able to find some information online about our rape statistics in South Africa, and it was extremely hard to read. It is also really shocking at how many people are unaware of these statistics, ignorance is not bliss in this case. So the next time someone says: “Not all men”, please direct them to Crime Stats SA or even Wikipedia.

It is estimated that over 40% of South African women will be raped in their lifetime and that only 1 in 4 rapes are reported.  It is also estimated that 14% of perpetrators of rape are convicted in South Africa. According to a survey that questioned rape victims who did not report the crime to the police, 33.3% of victims cited they feared reprisals, 9.6% cited that they felt the police would not be able to solve the crime, and 9.2% cited embarrassment as their reasons for not reporting the crime.


Just the very concept of rape is just so hard for me to grasp. How could you possibly think that you have the right to force yourself on another person, and even if you get to that point, how the hell are you able to derive pleasure from that? Now take that sentiment and twist it even further for child rape. HOW DARE YOU?! How dare you do that to a child! I just can’t imagine how evil you have to be to even try to understand that shit. 

What must happen now?

How do I stay alive? How do I keep my daughter, my mother, my friends alive and safe? I’m praying. And you should too. 

  • Speak to your children, let them know that it isn’t safe out there – be very careful of the level of detail that you go into because their minds won’t be able to comprehend such atrocities. But make sure they know how to react in tough situations.
  • Establish a safe zone with your kids so that they can tell you anything, this is really hard to do, but work on it. 
  • Whilst fear is dangerous, taking precautions and being aware is vital. Take note of your surroundings, change up your routine when you drive home.
  • Be mindful of what you share on social media – this is a really broad statement, but I think it’s simple enough to grasp.
  • Raise better humans, I guess. What else can I say? Men – you need to do better. Seriously. 

Women and children need to be able to live in a world where we don’t fear for our lives on a daily basis. 

My thoughts are prayers are with the families and victims of those who have been hurt and taken. 

What are your thoughts on this? Please connect with me via the comments, via email or any of my social accounts. 


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Miss Govender

A woman with a purpose | Also I love food | Is food my purpose? It is a possibility!

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